Black, Blacker, Blackest… Before the Lights Arrive.

I have a strong belief in the Universe. Not some old dude sitting up in a chair somewhere in space, looking down on us and waiting for us to screw up so he can put a check in the naughty column like some twisted, creepy Santa Claus.

I believe in the Universe. Energy. Positive, negative, neutral energy. Energy that compounds, energy that ebbs and flows, moving from one place to another in a constant state of flux.

Energy that seems to be flowing my way the last few days – thank the Universe!

The last few days have been such a rush to my pretty little ego that I had to write a post thanking the Universe for flowing some of that energy my way.

It all started last Wednesday when I clicked a link on LinkedIn to the Cambridge Who’s Who Women of Business group. I asked to apply and they promptly sent me to a form to start bragging about myself. Which I did.

I have to admit I’m really good at bragging. Not going to lie, when I get pumped up about everything I’ve accomplished and the effects I’ve had on both my clients and my employers, I get kinda caught up in the spirit of it all. And I have to say that was some of my best work, good bragging skills were definitely evident on that form.

After filling it in I hit submit and I didn’t really give it too much thought. Come Friday morning however I got a call from a lovely lady over at the Cambridge Group who wanted to interview me for their annual publication due to my awesome bragging skills! Woot!

After the interview she told me that she definitely wanted to include me in the publication and that she thought I would be a great fit for their organization – fist pumping that would have put any guido on Jersey Shore to shame followed.

I was ecstatically happy! A prestigious group and definitely some amazing opportunities to network and connect with other prestigious type peoples was not the way I thought I would start my weekend.

But wait there’s more!

I’ve been following the pre-launch materials of a couple of business coaches over at 180 Journey for the last week or so. I stumbled across their amazing ebook about three weeks ago and not only is it full of great info, it’s remarkably easy on the eyes (and we all know how good typography makes me drool!)

So I signed up to hear more about their new course coming out and was very interested to say the least.

But I started to get disheartened as I read more of their pre launch materials.

I mean, the information they were giving away for free was so good I was starting to lose hope that their final offering would be something that I could afford. I’m not one to balk at cost if I see a genuine payback from something but lately the business hasn’t been doing too good.

I’m down to my last few dollars from my major contract with the oil company and as of right now there definitely is no one beating down my door to give me high paying work. It has gotten to the point where I actually applied to a few full time jobs last week so that I could try to get something close to a paycheck every month.

And that has torn me up inside.

I would have to put munchkin in daycare – I would lose my time with him every day. Instead of trying to get work in around my child, I would be trying to get my child in around my work. And it has me feeling really guilty.

The reason I starting doing this type of work was so that I could set my own hours, work on projects I loved and be creative without sitting at a desk for eight hours a day. Ok, I still sit at a desk but it’s definitely not even close to eight hours a day and the desk is technically a stone’s throw from my bed and the fridge.

So needless to say, until I heard about the Cambridge Who’s Who inclusion, things were looking kinda bleak.

But today – oh wondrous November 9th! – I got the final pre-launch email from 180 Journey and I immediately clicked the link to their last piece of material, the one which would explain all and finally tell me how much the course would cost.

And I was right. It was way too expensive for me to afford. And just so you know where I am, the course was insanely cheap compared to the value that it was giving. But I just couldn’t do it.

So I sighed, and I closed the pdf file and resigned myself to either working full time or somehow finding some freelance jobs where I wasn’t ending up working for $14 an hour.

But something caught my eye in the email.

Right before I deleted it I noticed I hadn’t read to the bottom and I could have sworn I saw my name there…

It was! My name was in the email! But it wasn’t at the top, where usually there’s some kind of an auto field – Hi [first name] [last name].

I read the whole email from top to bottom, three times. My name was still there. I wasn’t seeing things, it wasn’t a mistake, my name was there twice.

This email was telling me that I had won a spot in this amazing course just for filling in the survey that they had sent out a week or so before. A survey! One that to be honest after hitting submit I totally forgot about!

I’m still reeling from the shock of it all! This has to be the Universe telling me to stop my downward spiral into full time drudgery and keep working at the dream – the dream!

Moral of the story is…. fill in every single survey you get, every single contest. Reply to every request and never, ever , EVER give up on the dream baby!

Thanks 180 Journey – I’ll be seeing you in the classroom / waiting in my pajamas at my desk.

PS: I will give something special to whomever can figure out the reference that the title of this post alludes to. Here’s a hint – It’s a turn of phrase in a novel by an awesome female scifi writer who also didn’t give up her dream of a planet filled with fire breathing dragons half a galaxy away.